


seasons change, but my love for you never will.

by galaxyksj



Series: kitten joong ☆°•~ [19]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Kitten hybrid hongjoong, Lots of it, M/M, be prepared, caregiver seonghwa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:28:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29465763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxyksj/pseuds/galaxyksj
Summary: fear breaks out as hongjoong does the unthinkable: run away thinking seonghwa doesn't want him anymore.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Series: kitten joong ☆°•~ [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027993
Comments: 22
Kudos: 75





	seasons change, but my love for you never will.

**Author's Note:**

> [ requested by: khris ❤ ]
> 
> the last few updates have been all nice and soft, how about we take a break and go to some heavy angst! be prepared!
> 
> i have been listening to slowed versions of bts' sad songs while writing this. it doesn't have any correlation i just wanted to share that i was feeling a little emotional writing this

tossing and turning.

that's all seonghwa did throughout the night. no matter what he did, he just couldn't get comfortable- sleeping with one blanket or no blanket, sleeping with socks on only to trudge them off, even putting on his headphones to listen to soothing music; none of it worked.

in fact, his antics woke up the sleeping kitten, making him trudge off into the living room with a pout on his face. for some reason, he just couldn't go to sleep. he knew he definitely couldn't go to sleep as he noticed the light peeking through the curtains.

"great..." he mutters under his breath. did he really just go a whole night without sleeping? this is sure gonna be one hell of a day.

it seems as if mother nature agrees with him as he began to hear raindrops hitting against the window rather harshly. he rubs his face in frustration, already feeling a dull throb forming in his head.

judging from seonghwa's demeanor, hongjoong knew to steer clear of his path and be on his good side. he sat up from the floor (his new favorite spot after seonghwa bought a new fluffy rug.) and slowly made him way into the bedroom to retrieve his blanket.

he knew something was different in the way the room was quiet, seonghwa's form under the covers. hongjoong walking hesitantly over the bed. he had a gut feeling that he shouldn't bother his hwa, but he just wanted to be near him (even if he was sleeping).

"hwa..." he mumbled, shaking his shoulder slightly. he heard the older groan turning the cover over his head.

"what?" he croaked from under the comforter, making the kitten shudder at how deep his voice was. he backed away, grabbing his blanket off the bed instead.

his hwa doesn't sound like he's in a good mood, so he'll just leave him alone for now.

\--------

it was a few hours later, hongjoong was sat in the living room. it was too quiet for his liking; the quiet made him feel anxious. he was nervous to go to hwa, unsure if he was feeling okay or not. but he remembers hwa always telling him if he feels nervous or scared. slowly he walked over to the bedroom door, but stopped in his tracks when he heard hwa talking.

"...no....not today, sorry" his voice carried through the empty room. hongjoong stood up against the wall, listening for when was a good time to walk in the room. he didn't know who hwa was talking to, but he can kinda make out what he was saying.

"-ugh, i'm just tired, you know? it's just too much sometimes...i don't really know what to do anymore..." seonghwa sighed over the phone.

hongjoong crumbled at the spot. immediately his mind started reeling with a thousand thoughts.

was hwa talking about him? was hwa tired of him? was hwa... _over him?_

he felt tears prick at his eyes, making it hard to see where he was going. he felt his nerves heighten even more, an ugly uneasy feeling settle in his chest. he shook his head as tears started spilling from his eyes.

he threw his blanket in anger, not caring where it lands, grabbing his shoes. he feels like he can't stay here anymore. his hwa doesn't want him here anymore, what else does he have to look forward to?

he struggles putting his shoes on, tucking the laces into the shoe (he's never learned how to tie his shoes, and it looks like he never will, either.) he quietly walks up to the front door, managing to successfully open it with two hands. his heart is pounding, and he feels scared, but he doesn't feel like he belongs here anymore.

he leaves his blanket and pacifier here, as much as he needs them to soothe himself, he believes he shouldn't even call them 'his' anymore. without looking back, he walks out the front door, being careful of the wet sidewalks. he even avoids jumping into the puddles when he walks past them.

he doesn't know where he's walking to but he walks along the empty streets. his tail is clutched in his hands, his ears pressed down. that's when he lets out the sobs he's been holding in.

hwa has always promised him that he would always be there for him. promised that he would always be safe. was hwa lying to him? he should have known...if his own mother didn't want him, what made hongjoong believe that a random stranger would want to keep him?

his legs get tired after walking for what seems like hours (he was never good with time) and sits between two old buildings. it's dark and cold and he feels exposed, so he scoots further into the alleyway.

he's feeling deja vu all over again. the last time he was outside in a cold dark alleyway, a handsome stranger rescued him and promised a warm, safe environment.

_where did it all go wrong?_

_\----------_

"it's just too much sometimes...i don't really know what to do anymore. i need to be home more for hongjoong...but i can't just quit my job. i don't know what to do" seonghwa sighs into the phone.

"you need to do what's right for hongjoong, but also for yourself." san's voice carries out. "have you talked to your boss yet?"

"i'm not really sure what he'll say, but hongjoong hasn't been himself the past few days. i just want to be home with him...anyway, i have to go check up on him, i'll call or text later"

"tell him i said hi and i miss him. just remember that whatever you choose, i'll support you and everyone else will, too" san replies.

seonghwa hangs up the phone, tossing it onto the bed. it's too quiet for his liking...

he walks into the kitchen, seeing it's empty. he furrows his eyebrows. _'that's weird...'_ he thinks

he then makes his way into the bathroom, and sees that it's empty as well. now he's starting to feel a little uneasy. the older jogs out into the backyard and sees that there's no one in there as well.

seonghwa can literally feel his heart sink in fear. where the hell is hongjoong?

"hongjoongie...where are you?" he calls out, receiving no answer. he goes back into the living room and stops in his tracks. his blanket and pacifier are still here, but what he fears the most is his shoes are missing and the front door is wide open.

"hongjoongie, if you're hiding, please come out, hwa is worried..." his voice is shaky as he begins to run outside the front door, frantically searching around the driveway and by the bushes near the fence.

that's when he feels his dam break. with blurry vision, he runs back into the house and with shaky hands grabs his phone and dials the last person he called.

"hey, hwa, how is every-"

"hongjoong is missing and i can't find him anywhere and i looked all over the house i can't find him, the front door was wide open and his shoes are missing a-and i don't know what to do and i need h-help please just come, sannie." his voice trembles, his hands are profusely shaking. his heart is beating so fast he can hear it in his ears.

"give me 5 minutes and i'll be there with everyone else" his voice is curt and leaves no room for explanations. seonghwa hangs up the phone as he stares out the window. he can't help but think of how the kitten is afraid of getting wet by the rain.

his heart is breaking by the passing seconds. where could hongjoong have gone? why did he just leave? he barely even knows the area that well, doesn't even leave the house with hwa or one of his hyungs.

he gently takes hold of the kitten's blanket, bringing it close to his face. the scent of hongjoong still lingers on it, bringing some comfort to the older. he's too entranced with the blanket, that he doesn't hear his friends enter the house. they all bombard entering in, but stop in their tracks at the scene in front of them.

it makes them feel uneasy at how heartbroken their hyung looks- the one who's normally always so composed and just has that strong aura to him- is now reduced to tears as he clutches onto the kitten's blanket for comfort.

"hwa..." san's voice breaks through the silence, making seonghwa turn around slowly to look up at him. they all feel tears pool by their eyes by taking just one look at him. they all gather around the living room, san sitting closely to seonghwa the most.

"what happened?" yunho speaks up. he sounds like he's afraid to even ask.

"i, umm, i got off the phone with san and i went to go look for hongjoong, but he...he wasn't here. the front door was open and his shoes were gone, the ones he likes to wear the most." he half smiles at the memory- the kitten claiming that it looks nice with every outfit he wears, one trait he's gained from seonghwa.

"i don't know where he could have went, he doesn't even leave the house without one of us..." he sighs in defeat.

"should we call 911?" wooyoung voices.

"no, let's try to find him first, and if we can't...then we can call." yunho reasons.

"alright" san stands up "it'll be better if we split up in two groups. wooyoung, you'll go with yunho, yeosang, and jongho. i'll go with mingi and seonghwa. call or text if you see him or anything that might give us a sign. and guys?" everyone stops to look at san

"please be careful, this rain doesn't look like it'll let up anytime soon"

it's as if san is the eldest with the way everyone wordlessly agrees and goes with their respected group members.

wooyoung, yunho, yeosang, and jongho search down the block and further. san, mingi, and seonghwa search into the city.

"hwa is coming, baby" san pretends he doesn't hear seonghwa whisper into the kitten's blanket, but squeezes his shoulder in reassurance.

\----

seonghwa doesn't remember what time they left the house, but everyone seems to be soaking wet from the pouring rain, the occasional rumbles of thunder makes seonghwa worry more, as he knows hongjoong is afraid of thunder.

his friends are the ones who worry the most about seonghwa. as much as they are worried for hongjoong, they can't help but feel for seonghwa. they haven't seen him like this since before he even had hongjoong in his life. this pain is equivalent to losing a child and that makes them jog just a little faster in hopes of finding the kitten.

it feels like they've been searching for days, when it's been merely a few hours. wooyoung and san texting back and forth on any updates, all saddened when there's no good news.

"hyung...maybe we should end up reporting him missing?" mingi says rather awkwardly. he sees seonghwa's shoulders shake as he lets out a shaky breath. he goes to sit on the sidewalk, not even caring that it's wet.

mingi and san walk within distance from their hyung.

"do you really think we should report him missing?" mingi asks, eyebrows raised in concern.

"i honestly don't know, i mean he doesn't know his way back home even if he were try to come back" san reasons

mingi sighs, looking over at seonghwa. it scares him to see his eldest hyung look this defeated and heartbroken. he's not good with situations like these. his lower lip wobbles "are we going to find him, sannie?"

san shows a sad smile, affectionately smoothing his friend's hair down. "i promise we will, don't give up, minnie. let's try looking one last time and then i'll text wooyoung to see if they've found anything."

just as mingi was going to walk back to his friend, he heard san gasp.

"woo just texted me, he says they think they found him...and that jongho is doing his best to comfort a crying yunho"

the pair jog back to seonghwa to update him; the oldest almost slipping with how fast he stood up.

"where are they now?" seonghwa asks, mingi cowering a little at how deep his voice is.

san is scrolling and typing on his phone "he says from where we are, they're about 10 minutes away. they're down the street leading out of the city"

seonghwa speed walks down the street, his mind only set on finding hongjoong and bringing him home. he justs wants his baby back...

san and mingi (although him being the tallest) have a hard time catching up to their hyung, panting as they have to run to be at the same pace as him.

"hyung, wait!" san calls out, grabbing mingi's hand so they can both catch up to their hyung.

seonghwa hums, not stopping for either of them.

"just please keep in mind, we aren't really 100% sure if they did find him. keep an open mind...if it turns out not to be him, we need to report him missing."

seonghwa stops in his tracks. "why are you giving up so easily?"

mingi backs away slightly, sensing some heavy tension forming between his two hyungs.

"i'm not giving up easily, i'm just saying. we've been outside in the pouring rain searching for hours on end and we haven't found him..." san does his best to reason.

seonghwa's eyes almost turn dark "i don't care if we've been searching for _days_ , i'm not giving up. he's out there somewhere."

"exactly, which is why we should probably go higher up, the police will help us-"

seonghwa scoffs " _they'll help us?_ do you know what they'll do? _nothing_. they'll think it's just a stray hybrid wanting to return back to his old roots...but this is hongjoong we're talking about. the one i've been pouring my blood, sweat, and tears into the past few months into raising and nurturing back to health. the one who always looks for comfort from his hyungs. the one who can't even hold his own bottle with one hand. the one who calls me mommy when he's scared or overwhelmed-"

"seonghwa, that's not what i meant and you know that. i want to find him as much as you do, but you have to understand it'll be hard to find him if it's just us looking for him-"

"just _stop_ , san! i think you've said enough...just...just-" he sighs in defeat, shakes his head as he continues on the path he was walking in.

san lets out a huff, nodding his head to mingi to just follow behind and leave seonghwa to cool off. keeping his head low, mingi trudges along.

\---

it takes a while for the trio to reach their other friends; true to wooyoung's message, jongho is seen consoling a clearly upset yunho.

wooyoung is the first to walk up to them, keeping his voice low "it's definitely him...but when he saw us, he began to freak out even more."

seonghwa was the first to walk towards the alleyway. he's getting deja vu all over again, remembering when he first found the abandoned and frightened kitten.

he walks slowly, afraid if he were too loud, he would startle him even more. his heart breaks as he walks around an old dumpster, seeing the familiar white (now dirty from the mud and grime of the dirty cement) tail sticking out.

"hongjoong..." he whispers, walking closer to the young kitten. his heart breaks as hongjoong looks up, tears spilling from his wide eyes.

the kitten sniffles, holding his arms out for the older. with no hesitation, seonghwa rushes over and scoops the kitten in his arms. he feels tears rim his eyes as he finally holds his kitten in his arms after what feels like forever.

hongjoong feels his nerves simmer yet spike simultaneously. for now he focuses on seonghwa's warmth- even though he's soaking wet from the rain- and nuzzles his head further into his neck.

"baby, why did you leave? you scared hwa so much..." he rocks the younger back and forth soothing his nerves. he's in his arms, he's breathing. they found him. "let's go home, my baby"

hongjoong whimpers at the idea, shaking his head profusely. seonghwa pushes his wet bangs out of his face. "what's wrong, love? are you hurt?"

the kitten shakes his head, lower lip wobbling "h-hwa... wan' me?"

seonghwa tilts his head in confusion "what do you mean by that, dear?"

"hwa wan' me 'ome? no 'ay bye bye?" hongjoong fiddles with his thumbs, sniffling.

seonghwa places him on the ground, cupping his face. "why would i say bye, baby? i'm not going anywhere"

the kitten whines, he's never been one to use his words. he's always had the older there to interpret his wants and needs. he looks down at his shoes, which are now dirty and muddy.

"h-hwa on phone...no wan' me anymo'e.... hwa ti'ed...no 'eave hwa... no 'eave...'omma no' wan' me. hwa wan' me?"

for the first time, seonghwa had a hard time figuring out what the kitten was saying. his words seemed too frantic and jumbled to even try to piece together. he cupped the younger's face, stroking his thumb to soothe the obvious frantic kitten.

"my fau'...'omma 'ay my fau', doggies an' ki'ies 'ay my fau' no one wan' me...hwa wan' me?"

seonghwa's heart broke. he can't believe the words he's hearing out of hongjoong's mouth. he pulls the younger in his arms, wrapping him in a secure tight hug.

"sweetheart, hwa always wants you to be with him...hwa was so scared when he couldn't find you. you don't have to worry about your mother and the other mean hybrids anymore. that's all in the past, now. it's gonna be you and me forever. you're my baby, you always are and always will be."

hongjoong broke out into more tears, hiding his face in the crook of seonghwa's neck. the older takes this moment as a cue to take hongjoong home. although damp from the rain, seonghwa wraps the kitten's blanket around his shoulders.

he can feel hongjoong subconsciously sink further into his arms. he even goes the extra mile to cover his head with the blanket to give him somewhat of a barrier from the rain. seonghwa keeps one hand secure on the back of his head, while walking ahead of everyone else.

mingi quietly tugs on san's sleeve, gaining the attention of the older. "will joongie be okay?"

san can't help but place a soft kiss to his friend's forehead "he'll be okay, don't worry" is all he says before he pulls the younger along with him, catching up to everyone else.

\--------

seonghwa leans his cheek on top of hongjoong's head; the kitten fell asleep not too long ago but still chooses to gently rub his back, even when he's sleeping, he wants him to know that he's still here.

it was kind of an unspoken agreement between all the friends that they were going to spend the night at seonghwa's house, wanting to be there for both him and the younger.

after everyone showered and dressed warmly, everyone seemed to fall asleep. it was an emotionally exhausting day- just like dominoes, one by one everyone's eyes closed and their breathing was even.

seonghwa, however, was wide awake. he can't shake the events from today out of his mind. he can't believe hongjoong ran away from home. he keeps replaying that sentence in his head. hongjoong ran away. he didn't feel safe and loved. he even thought that seonghwa didn't want him anymore. that's what hurt the most.

seonghwa always wants hongjoong to be with him, he's like his other half, his pride and joy.

the whole time he was home, hongjoong clinged wordlessly to the older, non-verbal and reduced to tears. he subconsciously held tighter onto the kitten. he flinches a little when he feels someone's fingers brush his cheek.

he tries to look up to see who it was, but his vision was blurry.

"i know it's been a hard day, but don't go overthinking now" san's voice was low, afraid to disrupt the kitten's slumber. seonghwa sees mingi curled up on san's lap. although the position is more likely uncomfortable, mingi looks rather peaceful.

"how was he?" seonghwa asks, nodding his head towards the sleeping form on his lap.

san smoothes his friend's hair down "he's okay, just isn't good with situations like these, gets overwhelmed pretty badly. how is he?" he nods his head over to the kitten in his arms.

"he's okay for the most part. it felt like i was reliving the night i brought him home. he was completely non-verbal but had that same fearful expression. the only difference was when i went to bathe him, he wasn't skinny and covered in bruises and scratches."

san looks over at the sleeping kitten in his arms. it silent between the two for a while, the sounds of the younger ones sleeping fill the void. san looks back over at his hyung "i'm sorry...about what i said earlier...."

the older's lips form into a sad smile "i'm sorry, too... i was just so scared..."

"and i completely understand" san agrees "he's definitely wormed his way into all of our hearts, but i can't imagine what you must have felt. but just know, i'll always be here to support him, and of course you, we all will be here."

he sticks out his pinky finger, a small smile on his lips "pinky promise"

seonghwa smiles, linking his pinky finger into his friends. "goodnight, san"

"goodnight"

seonghwa securely holds the sleeping kitten in his arms as he walks into his bedroom, doing his best to place the kitten under the covers without jostling him too much. he tucks himself in the sheets, maneuvering the kitten back into his arms.

for a few moments, he strokes the kittens hair, staring into space out the window. the rain stopped by now, the moon peaking out through the clouds casting a soft glow in the room.

he holds the kitten just a little tighter in his arms, kissing his forehead.

"i love you beyond words, you mean everything to me. i'm so blessed you're in my life, please never leave it."

he smiles as he feels the kitten snuggle closer into his chest. it's pitch quiet in the room that seonghwa can hear the low rumbles of purrs emit from hongjoong's throat.

**Author's Note:**

> this was a sad one, the next update will somewhat be a little less...sadder (i know that's not a word lol) 🥺🥺
> 
> ((also just wanna say again, there is no chronological order of this series. every update is different from one another.))
> 
> (((and of course, i know i shouldn't be saying this, cause it's pretty obvious we all know, but this is a work of fiction.)))


End file.
